Hi everyone!

I wanted to get into actually studying art instead of just doing it.  ( :  The reason for being is I really want to be responsible for my knowledge of art and actually read up and learn things to apply to the art I do already.  I guess sometimes I will study from reference, but not elaborately.  I am not afraid to admit I have a lot o things I need to learn, and sometimes will watch youtube tutorials.  Like lately it's been for watercolor; just to see how other people use the medium and techniques demonstrated.  

I want to take a closer look at color theory.  I feel like I have a good idea on the complementary colors and just generally how to mix and get the colors  how I want to look.  But I feel like there is more I'm missing out on that we didn't get into during high school.  So that is an example of the things I want to look into.  I also want to look into actual genres and become well rounded in those... like still life, landscape, and drapery are just a few.  (Anyone taking art classes I'd love to hear what you're studying and have studied!)  

I sort of want to go to art school, but my portfolio is far out dated now, and besides that, in high school I wasn't so particular about my artwork.  I just did what I had to do to get the assignment done.  So I dunno, I might start redoing my portfolio in that sense.  It'll be a pain to clean how the clear pages because I used charcoal/pastels as my medium for the majority of the artwork did.  I feel like also I didn't see the things in drawing my subject I try to be more aware of now.  I'm a bit better at stopping and really looking at things and accepting mistakes and correcting them to a degree.  Not entirely, but more aware is a step in the right direction.  My number one fear with art school though is graduating with nothing to do with that degree of art.  It's been my fear ever since considering college in high school.  I'm not very gregarious, actually leaning in to the more shy personality.  So I can't do anything where you have to be social, and besides that, why would I want to?  Art should be done in the right side of the brain, and talking and being gregarious isn't my idea of that. XD  I want an artistic atmosphere to work in, honestly.  It's my dream to have my own little art studio where I can have all sorts of work laying out and my supplies all right there.  And a nice desk, ah, that'd be the best.  Maybe someday...  If I either move out of my parent's house, or if they fix up the basement I'll just live down there.  (Oh my, living in your parents' basement?  That sounds horrible!!)  But hopefully if I go to college and by the time I graduate I'll be able to do SOMETHING other than poke around with my parents.

And one thing that has always interested me is the diversity of people of colleges.  They say it really is different there, and not like high school at all.  But also being graduated from high school for two years now just makes me wonder if I can handle another learning environment.  It's not that, I suppose.  It's more dealing with people.  But maybe I'd make friends in college and it'd be okay?  I'm not all that afraid to approach someone, it's actually holding conversation with them.  

Well, my primary goal as an artist right now is to focus on getting better at female anatomy.  I haven't even moved to the male yet, though...  No offense, but I don't draw much males anyways.  However, it's a good thing to know and the anatomy of a male has it's distinct difference from the female anatomy obviously, but they're so similar I just am going to stick with the female and master that first to the best of my ability.  Then figure out the key differences in the male.  Like thicker neck, more narrow hips I think?  Something like that.  Probably the way the muscles are constructed and key differences in the face to make them look more masculine if that's what I want to achieve.  I will never have a reason to draw a man nude, so thankfully no worries about that.

I think it will help me to learn a more realistic style and stick with that for a while.  I want to try a disney-like style, but not entirely like that.  I guess with anime it's so particularly stylized that I'll be better off learning the more realistic approach so with that knowledge I can change things up to my liking when I'm more confident to do so.  I love the style I was aiming for.  I actually had two.  I liked the cutesy eyes that are rather big you see a lot in my art, or sometimes the very angular eyes... almost like you would see in Kingdom Hearts, but not quite.  

I only have four months left, and that's strange in the sense that wow, it's almost been a year since I got my first premium membership!  O.O  And I got this around the time I quit my job last year... so strange how distant that all seems now.  Well, I want to draw some adoptables and sell them here at some point so I can renew my membership here.  After you have premium it's hard to go back.  And this was my first time with it, and will at least be working towards getting it for another year again.  ( :  So it isn't like I'm just a spoiled twenty year old.  Nope, I work for these things.  

I'm also thinking about doing a journal similar to this one every week or so?  Mostly to ramble about what I am doing in my art studies and such.  

I really want to improve and I'm tired of not striving to do so more diligently.  It's just causing me to progress a lot slower than I would if I just took the amount of time and patience necessary to learn more.  Instead I try to draw things and create without the proper knowledge?  But I do try to use references for things I'm unsure of, but I haven't even been doing that lately.  I'm mostly talking about the human body here. XD  And hands/feet, don't get em started on those.  I just want to take a weeks time on each of the topics I struggle with and hopefully by the end of the month see a considerable amount of improvement at least?  

Another goal of mine is to actually sell art.  I have actually been open about it to my family and now my aunt is trying to get me to sell something in this flea market in a week. XD  haha, maybe I will the next time it comes around?  If I had the skill necessary I could do portraits right on the spot, but maybe someday I would.  ( :  There are quite a few fairs in the summer around the area I live in, so maybe someday I can get into that.  My aunt actually is on the committee of one, and usually asks if I want to display art and stuff.  Maybe this year I should?  Gah, I don't know. XD

One thing that is very expensive but I'm in need of is a good paper cutter.  I have watercolor paper that is a tad too big for the smaller things I like to do, so that would be immensely helpful for me to buy or save up for.  

Well, that is all about me this week.  I might do a random journal here and there but probably not as long and rambly as this one got.  If you read all this by chance, thank you! XD  I mostly just needed a place to write my thoughts down.  It helps me to think if I'm writing and thinking at the same time.  

I hope you have a good day and week!  

Side note:  Someone requested an anatomy tutorial long ago when I was just starting.  That's hilarious.  Because of how poorly I drew the body, but I want to make a simple tutorial possibly on drawing female anatomy very soon!!  It will also help me in my learning process as well, to put the things I observe/learn into words like that.  So that is something to look forward to, I'm hoping.  Though I'm not the best at hands/feet yet. XD

I'll just make tutorials on all of this sort of thing when I feel confident enough to try to teach it.  

Thanks for reading again!

 Cassondra  

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